Status Report.

Well, the taters are all asleep, and it is Friday night. Had a friend over, ate some takeout. Pretty good. Here is what is going on in our little corner of the world…

Torture Chambers for Small Children?  It already exists.

Did you know that there are officially sanctioned child torture facilities? We support these facilities with our tax dollars and private donations. There is probably one near you. Ours is called Children’s Hospital and Research Center of Oakland. There’s a little room there. Kids go in happy. Then you hear a bunch of crying, and they come out with puffy red eyes and post cry hiccups, clutching stickers and plastic figurines. This room is also called the lab, where you get blood draws. Seriously, so sad. Last time I was there, a little boy with a blood condition just straight up ran away when his name was called.  He knew the score.  Thankfully, as long as I’m nursing him, LP he doesn’t give a hoot what anyone does to the rest of his body. Put a really tight plastic thing on my arm to restrict the blood flow? Sure. Poke that arm with a hollow needle and collect my blood? No prob. One day the boob cure-all won’t work anymore, but it is pretty darn handy for the time being.

Sleep deprivation…

I’m really sleep deprived. I know what you’re thinking. Duh, you have a brand new baby. That isn’t it. LP has slept through the night for a few weeks now. (Before any of you other moms get mad, we did our time with the older taters! Chipmunk didn’t sleep through until much later. And well Mouse… she was… complicated.) the problem is, between LP’s floppy airway noises and Latke’s snoring and talking in his sleep, our bedroom is not a serene place of rest. Who knew a baby could sleep so loudly? Why does Latke only mutter about briefs and legal precedent in his sleep? I have no answers, but  think I need my own room.  Did I also mention that Latke elbows me in the face and then calls me rude when I ask him to move his arm off my head?  He says I can’t get mad because he doesn’t remember doing any of it.  Does this sound right to you???

Oh, how far I’ve come…

I think I’ve officially arrived at mother-dom.  My parents watched tater #1 and #2 this morning, ostensibly so I could take tater #3 to the child torture facility.  Then took a trip to the grocery store, threw some loads of laundry in the machine, then settled down to nurse the baby to sleep.  Then I got ridiculously excited when I realized, 1) I can watch TV and no small person will approach me to suggest watching Yo Gabba Gabba, 2) I can eat ice cream without the guilt that my dairy-allergic daughters might see me, 3) I can take a nap, 4) after said nap, I can take a shower.  The day is ending, but I’m still excited about having done it all.  Dreaming of tropical vacations, winning the lottery, expensive clothes?  Nope, not necessary.  All I need is some TV, ice cream, extra sleep, and hygiene opportunities.  Luxurious, I tell you.

And the rest…

OK. So some medical stuff for the curious. We are getting referred to the sleep clinic at Stanford, which I’m told is the best in the country. Doing more blood work to look more closely at LP’s thyroid and check for any signs of leukemia (the reason we were at the kiddo torture chamber today), but after learning more about thyroid function in babies, I won’t be surprised if the results are inconclusive (but yes, we are concerned that LP’s thyroid function isn’t quite right). As for leukemia, just a routine precautionary test.  Going to an ENT specialist about whether a swallow study is necessary to look for aspiration, but talked to our family doctor and confirmed that, yes, swallow study shouldn’t be done lightly and it might not even really tell the whole picture. Next week: cardiology and geneticist.  Phew.