Passing the torch

Dear Chipmunk and LP,

Congratulations! Chipmunk, you have officially passed the Trouble Torch to your little brother. What is the Trouble Torch? Why, it is the torch carried by the child who is most often in trouble.

You carried it faithfully for over two years, Chipmunk. From the time you started walking and talking, you’ve been a small yelling machine. After being such an easy going baby, I have to hand it to you, that was a good trick you played and me and your father.

Speaking of your father, I blame him for your prolonged torch carrying. He’s quick to anger and quick to forgive; you seem to take after him. (I think later, that characteristic will be endearing. Not right now though, sorry.) I admit that it gives me secret chuckles to watch you guys get under each others’ skin. Then again, I’m pretty sure he laughs just as hard when Mouse and I have week-long, silent standoffs.

LP, it looks like you are going to be a very diligent Trouble Torch bearer. Every morning you wake at sunrise and devote every single waking moment to something I’d rather you didn’t do.

Trouble, I'm telling you.

My favorite is when you acquire small objects to drop into the heater intake. A lot of people think it is funny, that you couldn’t possibly know that it is wrong. I beg to differ, because when I spot you getting my driver’s license out of my wallet, it seems mightily suspicious that you high tail it to the heater grate with a maniacal laugh.

I threw my fork, demanded it back, and she actually got it for me. The injustice...

Let’s not forget the rearranging of anything and everything in a drawer, hurling food and utensils just for fun, or learning how to undo the baby gate before you learn to walk. Then there is the dying chicken squawk-cry that you have when you don’t get your way. That doesn’t get on my nerves at all.

I guess you’re both growing up. Chipmunk, you are turning into a little girl. LP, you are really getting the hang of toddlerhood. You’ve had a pretty hilarious relationship so far. I can’t say that LP has really appreciated you in the past, Chipmunk, but I think that is changing.

Aside from driving me to my wit’s end, you guys are doing pretty well. You should stick together, you’ll be the middle children, after all.

Love,

Your tired mother