Ferbertizing My Eggs

This morning Mouse and Chipmunk wanted to talk about their parts.  Yeah, those parts.  Specifically, I walked in on them sitting on Mouse’s loft bed, comparing their girly bits.  When I opened the door to get them ready for the morning, Chipmunk cheerfully announced, “Look, Mommy, we looking at our pee-pee places!  Mina has big one!”  Best thing ever to hear first thing in the morning.  

Last year, I wrote about a talk between me and Mouse on a very related topic.  It seems appropriate to share it now, despite that it is an old discussion.  And really, all awkward sex talk is timeless.
Read the rest of this entry »

Liebster: A Bunch of Random Stuff About Me

It is Saturday night.  The Taters are tucked in and Latke decided to go to bed early.  In another lifetime I would be out drinking, but now my idea of an awesome Saturday night is to soak up the silence of the house and catch up on some reading.  So it seems right to finish my Liebster questions.  The first one seemed like such a big deal, I had to give that one its own blog post, but the rest I’ll do here.  Prepare yourself for a bunch of information that you absolutely don’t need to know.  Try to calm yourself now.  I know it is exciting but try to keep your wits about you.

  1. When you were a child, what did you dream about being when you grew up?
    Honestly, I didn’t actually think about my career path very much as a child.  A little later, in high school, I wanted to be a writer.  All I knew was that there was no way in hell I was going to be a doctor or a lawyer (both proposed by my parents).  Here I am, sitting on a psych Bachelor’s and a culinary degree.  The lesson I learned?  Never, ever, ever communicate to your children any desires for their future.  Ever.
  2. What are better cats or dogs? Defend your answer. (you need to pick one even if you are not an animal lover)
    This is hard.  We used to have a cat, but I always wanted both.  Just couldn’t commit to really taking care of a dog when I could barely keep the Taters alive.  My main gripe with dogs is that they are so effing dirty.  Cats are clean and collected, but most cats couldn’t give a flip about their owners.  Dogs, however, eat gross stuff, have terrible breath, slobber on you, and then seem utterly crushed when you don’t want to be the recipient of such attentions.  But, dogs are also loyal, selfless, and pretty irresistible even when they are covering you with stinky kisses.  Huh.  Sounds like someone else I know…
  3. Assuming money was not an issue, where would you travel to and what would you do when you got there?
    The moon.  I would watch the earth rise over the horizon and bounce around, pretending to have  superpowers.
  4. What do you prefer and why – Apple iOS or Android?
    Well, now, never having had an iPhone, I have to say Android.  Mostly this loyalty comes from the fact that the Google phone is such a great deal for a no-contract phone.  We did the math finally, do you know how much money you give to the 2-year contract companies?  Thousands.  Even after buying an expensive unlocked phone, you still save all that money.  Those bastards, tricked me for a while, but I’m onto you now!
  5. Baseball is widely known as “America’s Pastime.” Do you agree? If not what do you think should be considered America’s Pastime?
    I’m going to offend a lot of people here, but I don’t get baseball.  Too statistics heavy, not enough male bod showing.  Yeah, I pick my sports for my male body viewing pleasure.  Basketball first, love the arms and I’m a sucker for tall men.  Then soccer, love the thighs.  Then runners… Swimmers…  Oops, I’m not answering the question.  America’s favorite pastime?  Probably shopping.  Americans love shopping.
  6. What is your favorite candy bar?
    I’m much more an ice cream fanatic.  If I had to pick?  Skors.  Maybe Tobblerone.  To the makers of those two bars: Please feel free to send me some in the mail, for “quality control”.
  7. Your kids are in bed and your spouse is off doing something else. You have the television to yourself and the DVR has been recording everything for the last week. What is the first show you watch?
    Stuff that is on right now?  The Walking Dead.  It is actually like picking a scab; I know I shouldn’t but I watch anyways.  Now, don’t judge me, but just like this blogger friend, I find it waaay too easy to let my mind wander after watching that show.  Really makes me feel the urge to master some sword skills or go to a shooting range.  Not a matter of if, but when, my friends.
  8. What would you consider to be the greatest invention ever? Why?
    The Roomba.  Serious.  My parents basically gave it to us as a pity gift after seeing how dirty our floors were after having Chipmunk.  Best.  Thing.  Ever.  It actually works.  Has some sort of military technology in there, it learns the layout of your house.  Run it every night.  Love it.  Have I mentioned I love it?
  9. What is the one thing you cannot stand to be without?
    My phone.  Wish I had something more awesome sounding, but all I have is the truth.  I need that little black square.
  10. Who is the greatest superhero of all time? Choose from: Batman, Spider-Man, or Superman.
    Batman.  I like the tormented hero stuff.  I would hook up with Batman, not so much the other two.  Is that the wrong criteria for me to choose a superhero?  Remember, you are asking these questions to a woman.  We have needs too.

So there it is.  A bunch of random stuff spilling out of my head.  I have to admit I find it slightly awkward to commit to so many random opinions here.  Perhaps I will become a baseball convert, or suddenly love Mounds (highly unlikely).

I leave you with some pictures of the Taters, just ’cause I can.  Nite, nite.  xoxo

The Liebster Award: Part 1

Well.  This here awesome blog nominated me for something called the Liebster Award for new bloggers.  I’m a blogger, I’m new, and I can answer random questions, so there you go.  Meant to be!  I gotta answer a bunch of questions, pass on the award, and hopefully meet a bunch of interesting people along the way.
Read the rest of this entry »