You’re Just Going Along, and then… Woah.Posted: March 27, 2014
Friends. I have some news.
A certain date came. And passed.
I scratched my head.
No, ahem, spontaneous behavior had occurred.
Peed on a stick, nothing. Waited a day, peed on another one. Nothing.
Then many more days passed.
Peed on another stick. Then I immediately peed on another stick.
I busted out of the bathroom in alarm, and Latke and I had a conversation that went something like this:
Me: Do you see this?????
Latke: See what?
Me: The two lines! I know it is faint, but loooook!!!
Latke: I don’t see two lines. What does two lines mean? Maybe the test is broken.
Me, thinking to myself: (Has this man not already had THREE children with me? How does he not know how these things work?)
Latke: Give me that thing, let me see.
Latke: I see two lines.
Me: Should I take another test in a few days?
Latke: Woman, are you kidding me? You’re two weeks late and you’ve spent like $45 on tests!
Me: Oooookay. I guess. I mean…
Latke: No, way!
And so, my friends, that is my news. I’m knocked up. With child. Bun in the oven. I’m. Pregnant.
I always wanted a big family. My mom comes from seven, and my dad from four. Latke’s mom comes from four. My brother and I are the only ones in our family and are eleven years apart. He and I passed like ships in the night for years. By the time I was done with being a self-centered teenager, he was ready to start. While I think we have come to have a pretty good relationship, I admit that I always envied families that had a lot of siblings close in age.
When Latke and I started having kids, I always joked to him that I wanted five. He only has one sibling as well, but didn’t see the need to reinvent the wheel there. Well, he got excited about three without much talk from me, and lately, he’d been into the idea of having more. I thought we were done when I was pregnant last time (I’m a horrendously grumpy pregnant woman), but of course, memory fades and there seemed to be someone out there, waiting for us.
Still, I never would have guessed that we’d come so close to that number five. It just isn’t really very common in my parts (the Bay Area crunchy parent set). And holy schmoly, four pregnancies in six years is no joke. My hot mommy bod is not feeling so hot.
Plus, there is the whole idea of having a child after already having one with a disability. I fully admit that I’m sensitive about this aspect of our pregnancy. It stings to think that people won’t be as excited for us, and I’m not naive to the fact that some people will think it is irresponsible for us to have another child after LP.
My answer is, please reconsider your feelings.
I guess I can see why people might raise an eyebrow but then again, judging a family based on disability or number of children sort of misses the point. Upholding an impossible (and maybe even damaging) standard of what a family should be isn’t what makes children grow up into good people. In my book, things like love, facing adversity, hard work, embracing interdependence, and empathy make good people. That happens with single parents, straight parents, gay parents, small and large families. I guess I wish the judgmental stuff weren’t so ubiquitous. And I know a lot of people try to hide it, but look y’all, it still shows. Let me just be real there.
I also know that most don’t share news like this so early on, because of the possibility of miscarriage. Well, what will be is meant to be, but I gotta have full latitude to complain about this pregnancy during the hardest part. I always get sick as a dog in the beginning, so the idea of pretending otherwise just doesn’t seem very fun at all. I’ve also got so much going around in my head about homebirth and prenatal testing, my head is spinning. I really feel the need to write about it, and I will, soon.
Ok. So there it is. I won’t lie, I was pretty darn shocked, but I’m also excited. And a little anxious, the idea of four seems like a big deal, and has brought up some feelings about LP’s diagnosis. I’ve been talking my friends’ poor heads off about this pregnancy, so they’ll probably be relieved that I just let the cat out of the bag and I can start talking to someone else. I love you, friends, you’ve been kind to me. I promise I’ll go annoy some new people now.