My Dear Unborn Baby: A Letter From Your LandlordPosted: October 28, 2014 Filed under: funny stuff, kids, parenting | Tags: fourth child, humor, Motherhood, Parenting, pregnancy 11 Comments
I’ve been your landlord for 36 weeks now. (OK technically only 34, but that’s how we count it, so let’s not get all picky.) I want to record for posterity that you are a terrible renter.
First, the unexpected inhabitancy. I don’t think that needs any further explanation.
Second, causing debilitating sickness for four months. I. Will. Never. Forget.
Third, you insist on having me eat too much ice cream. Please stop that!
Lastly, you seem intent on trashing my body before you vacate, as if you are a college graduate on her last string of keg parties before leaving campus. This is no way to treat your very first home. Please desist from bruising my ribs, crushing my organs, and causing my hips to dislocate. There are some other things you’re doing to my body that I won’t discuss here in mixed company, but don’t think they’ve gone unnoticed. Trust me, when you’re out, it will be in your best interest to have left my body in the most functioning state possible.
Live it up, girl. Because soon, you’re going to be on the outside, competing with your three big siblings. I know you can hear them during the day. Don’t worry. I’ll protect you. Most of the time.
Awww, Jisun! She’s lucky to have the accommodation she’s got! :)
That’s what I think, but I’m very disappointed to say that NONE of my children so far has thanked me for carrying them for nine months. Imagine!
They will, when they’re having kids of their own!
I think you are a very patient landlady! :-)
My husband feels pretty differently. ;)
I can tell you’re married to a lawyer; Always give a warning before the eviction notice.
In other news, Looks like she’ll be able to keep up with the competition, I mean, your other kids.
Haha! It is true, being a lawyer’s wife has changed my thinking. I’m not sure if it is for the better though! ;)
So funny- I remember being pregnant with my fourth, and feeling so done with the whole experience near the end. I was sure I was going into labor all the time in the last month, those braxton hicks were pretty strong. Sending you peaceful birthing vibes :)
I’m sitting here having a ton of those BH at this very moment! I have a little “emotional meter” running in my head, and in my experience, the meter starts dinging uncontrollably right before labor. It is like clockwork. Each time, 24-48 hours before labor I have a complete meltdown. Took me a couple times to recognize it, but now I know. So far, no meltdown, so I’m fairly confident that there is no impending labor. Thank you for the peaceful vibes. There’s always that moment right around now that I remember how much labor HURTS, and what a bummer that is!
Oh, baby girl! Your mama has your number ;-)
Thank you for the update, Jisun…I think about you a lot and can’t wait to see the lil homewrecker!! xo
I’m terrible, huh? I don’t know where all the happy-zen pregnant mamas get it! xo