Guilt, forgiveness, and surrender.

I’m part of a Facebook group of moms with babies born around the same time, who also have Down syndrome.  Today a discussion came up about prenatal testing, termination, and getting a diagnosis before vs. after birth.  Well, I went and stuck my foot in my mouth there, carelessly saying something that made some other mothers feel judged about their decision to do the prenatal tests.  I profusely apologized, and all is well I think, but I got to pondering… why had I done that?  I couldn’t stop posting to that thread, my urge to keep letting out these stream-of-consciousness thoughts would not stop. What was that???

Mother guilt.  Awful, irrational, inescapable mother guilt that I am just starting to face.   Read the rest of this entry »