I’m part of a Facebook group of moms with babies born around the same time, who also have Down syndrome. Today a discussion came up about prenatal testing, termination, and getting a diagnosis before vs. after birth. Well, I went and stuck my foot in my mouth there, carelessly saying something that made some other mothers feel judged about their decision to do the prenatal tests. I profusely apologized, and all is well I think, but I got to pondering… why had I done that? I couldn’t stop posting to that thread, my urge to keep letting out these stream-of-consciousness thoughts would not stop. What was that???
Mother guilt. Awful, irrational, inescapable mother guilt that I am just starting to face. Read the rest of this entry »